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Weekend in Johannesburg

Weekend in Johannesburg
Weekend in Johannesburg
via British Airways First Class
March 2022

BA A380 First Class back to London Heathrow

 
After lunch, we returned to the Four Seasons to relax for a couple of hours before heading off to the airport.
 

Earlier in the day, we had both used our BinaxNow test kits with the Navica app and got our still-mandatory test results in less than 20 minutes from start to finish.  Just a great way to meet the stupid US testing rules for return.

We went with the $28 Uber Black option vs. the hotel arranged $125 option.  After two perfect weather days, it sure looks like we are leaving at the right time.  

Miserable conditions.

Thirty minutes later, we arrived at JNB and another 10 minutes later after two more doc checks, we were next in line for First Class check-in.

With no priority lane, security was another 15 minutes, and then 5 minutes for passport control. 

Another five minutes later, we're at the BA Lounge.

Large and boring Business Class lounge...

But fortunately with a separate and quiet First Class room.

Menu options with food and drink delivered to your table.  We were both still full from lunch so neither or us sampled anything from the menu.

My G&T and chips.

At around T-60, we headed out for our gate.  After yet another doc check, we're in the gate area waiting to board.

British Airways BA 54
Johannesburg JNB to London LHR
A380-800
9:15pm-7:15am +1
March 14, 2022
First Class Suite 1A
 

Yet another pathetic BA First Class boarding experience as we waiting for handicapped, then dozens of families with small children, and then finally First Class.  Not that it meant anything as we waiting 10 minutes in the jet bridge before we were all allowed to board.​  This would never happen with Air France La Première.  

Ahhh, finally on board.  A380 pics from our earlier flight.

Another excellent BA crew providing stellar service again tonight.

Salmon and beet starter.

Beef was excellent, despite being well done again.

 

 

 

After dinner and a movie, I slept for another solid 6 hours.   

Again, I was really impressed by the service in BA First. Wonderful cabin crew providing stellar service.  It's a shame BA doesn't give them more to work with, and simply falls apart once you arrive at the gate, where the abysmal LHR ground experience is enough to make a First Class passenger avoid BA altogether.

 

Instagram videos of The BA Lounge at JNB and our BA First A380 flight to London...

Another simply dreadful BA Ground Experience at London Heathrow
 

After a great BA First Flight from Johannesburg, we are back to reality at one of the worst connecting airports in the world.  To add insult to injury, First Class passengers are treated no differently than Basic Economy passengers.   While LHR connections require a security check, today's security was a bloody gong show with massive queues and no priority queue.  Even with us quasi queue-jumping,  this stupidity took nearly an hour including a ridiculous secondary where even acceptable toiletry liquids were walked to another screening area 50 meters away before being returned.  That left no time for anything but a shower before we had to take the miserable train back to the B gates.

 

To B39... a BUS GATE.  LOL, but of course.  Why should our LHR experience improve today?

London Heathrow LHR to New York JFK
British Airways BA 179
777-200
9:50a-1:55p
11:10a-2:55p
March 15, 2022
First Class Suite 1A
 

The long, long way to our plane...

Or maybe we're walking to NY today.

Uh-huh.

Stairs...

... and more stairs.

At least it wasn't raining today.

Lovely.  Air France and Lufthansa First Class passengers get a private limo ride.  BA First Class passengers get crap.

At least we get a nice view of our 777.

Once finally on board, our mood changed with a nice cabin but an even better cabin crew, led by our wonderful FA George.

1A has nice spacious closet big enough for my carry-on.

Although we boarded on time, we sat at the gate for a while but not pushing back until 20 minutes after our departure time.  We taxied a bit and then stopped... FOR AN HOUR.  While the clueless cockpit crew and BA ops tried to figure out whether we had enough fuel to reach JFK.  Say what?  At first, we were going to have to go back to a gate but supposedly none were available. Then we were going to go to a remote stand.  After an hour of this BS, the captain announced that we did indeed have enough fuel and we were going to taxi for departure.  Sheesh.

Once in the air, George provided simply flawless service for 7 hours.

OMG, pink beef on BA.  I didn't think that we even possible.

Afternoon snacks...

And tea.  

All in all, once in the air and only once in the air, another marvelous BA flight with wonderful service.

And then there the ridiculous gong show at Terminal 7 CBP.   With Global Entry, I've never really had any bad experiences anywhere... until today.  This CBP group had a real New York attitude.  First off, there were no CBP agents at any booths to process our arrival.  They started slowly showing up a couple minutes later, from their break or whatever.  Despite my Global Entry receipt, there was nowhere for me to go.  I was first in line and was finally directed to a booth where the jack-ass agent had just turned on his green light.  But apparently the green light didn't mean anything as I was yelled at for getting too close to booth.  Channelling my inner New Yorker, I yelled back and then was finally waived forward to said jack-ass who decided to "work to rule" sitting there doing nothing at one point saying "I don't work during accouncements".   Welcome to New York.

 

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